History of the middle east

Quick history lesson for you folks out there, its only 90 seconds and its full of bright pretty colours.

LINK

A secret life...

"A Secret life must not leave out anthing; there is nothing to be ashamed of... one can never know too much concerning human nature"
Anonymous, 'My Secret Life', (New Your: Grove Press, 1966)

The Devils Kitchen

Ok, i love this guy.

The Devil's Kitchen political blog, even if the politics don't quite fit with my own (whatever they may be) this is a beautiful example of an individual's(or group's) ability to get to the crux of the matter and expose the corrupt or just bloody stupid actions of our country's politicians... The fuckers.

Here is a small quote, with referance to the recent story about how MPs are asking for a pay rise of 66% of which one justification of this monumental rise is that it should be in line with other top civil servants...

The Devil's Kitchen. "Just fuck off would you? Go away and fuck yourselves to death, go on. Top civil servants shouldn't be paid £100k either; they should all be sacked, the cunts."

Ok, well yes indeed the blog is a little explicit but when you see through that you realise something. As far as lazy language goes, this is the best and most apt way to express the abject exasperation and frustration that the British people are feeling with government today.

PLEASE PLEASE READ THIS, IF NOTHING IS GOING TO GET YOU ANGRY ABOUT THE STATE OF BRITISH POLITICS TODAY, NOTHING WILL! ...And that would be a horribly sad state of affairs, wouldn't it?

The article.
The blog.

The Blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
the ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.
(W.B. Yeats The Second Coming)

Random comment yayness.

I guess seen as people do actually look at these things (contary to previous belief) I may indeed have to keep an eye on the quality of the posts... At least as far as proof reading and such goes, my own stupidity cannot be helped.

But thanks for the comment, I will almost certainly put your blog in my bookmarks dude.

More please, and I am happy to take any abuse on account of my stupidity and incorrectness; though please make it connected to the post in some way... Personal attacks are so damned anoying. RAHH!

Ideology and Blair

Just a quick note, as I have a seminar in a moment...

But if Bush's justification for the war in Iraq on a personal level is his NeoConservative ideological perspective what is Blairs? I mean, everyone knows (yes that is beginning to be an overly accepted thing) that it was all spin and reasonings on a public level either were not the correct ones or were in some way increased to create a truthful and morally acceptable (well to some) reason for war... Then why did he take us there?

Fame?
Fortune?
Religion?
The need to fit in with his peers? (George Bushy-wooshy)

The fact is that everyone is so fucking baffled, of the war, of the political parties inability to actually represent individuals(as mass uniform single-issue groups) without the use of newspaper headlines, and of the sudden realisation that everything we believe in politically is fair game.

Its shameful. Its fucking scary.

Not that anyone will be all that interested in such things but here is a photo of NSC-68 the wonderful tome that sparked panic for the american govenment and peoples (and the rest of the world) towards the Soviets in the cold war.

I guess the word 'wonderful' was used as I always use it. That of it holding a strong tinge of sarcasm. It basicly shows (like with present events in Iraq show) that there is no-such thing as level headed, logical government and rational. That hysteria starts at the top; works its way down and results in stupidities in governance and people.

Please please please, can the leaders of the word world suddenly change? To accept logic, and the realities of existance, instead of fantasy and irrencincilable stupidities of ideology and pre-concieved political belief. Rahh!

(and before anyone comments, that political realities and the realities of states in a world of anarchy (and all that levels of realities stuff) can be totally different things... I dont really care (for the moment) let me contratdict myself and be idealistic for once!)

Just a quicky

I was wondering if the title for everyone is blocked by the 'blogger' bar at the top?

I may have to fiddle.

-=Edit=-

Fixed, I think.

Saddam Hussein must die! ...aparently.

Humm... Theres something remarcably distasteful with the current preceedings in Iraq in as far as the sentance handed down against Saddam, to me, is intrinsicly abhorant. Death is not something that a state should decide on, especially a state whos first remembered action in history will be its handing down of the death penalty of its previous ruler. How can this be a benificial thing, how can this legacy be created on positive grounds. Revenge is never going to result in closure, just simply a continuation of hostilities.

The fact is that everyone knows this, but the blinkered populist politics. There are two areas to look at, 'home' in this sense I am talking about Iraq, for understandable but not enlightened reasons the majority want his final act to be his head rolling into a basket. And aboad(... Well aproad is basicly the US now... But thats another point entirely) being the international community who want a dramatic result of what is in general (at least for the initial stated reasons) a fruitless enterprise to woo domestic voters. "See! We did something, we killed someone....Important!"

I guess, my argument, if you take those two rambled point into concideration is this. That for what ever reason his death is something that is taken for granted and of all people the Judge was never going to do anything different, hell no! My point is that the pest possible solution to the problem of the Baddie Saddam Hussein is that most wonderful of judicial mechanisms, the appeal process. With a long winded appeal process Saddam can rot in his (probably confortable) hell of a prison cell and begradually and ultimatly ignored. Whats the point in following him if he is dead already (at least by decree) and the same logic goes with why sould people worry or expect his return?

The alternatives are much worse (though may ultimatly be seen as minor in the run-of-the-mill experience of Iraq). He dies. Hell breaks loose as Sunni Extremeists use this one event for another catylist of attacks. Many people die.

So, just let him rot, and die in prison. Its much better that way, no-one will really care about him after he has been condemed to death a couple of times. Just DONT kill the bastard.

Crappy Carlton

On a more frivilous note, please please remember that the Carlton in Morecombe is terrible.

I could rant about it, but its just true.

The New Science of Networks Review

Taken from here. Please read, its very well written and easily understood. I am so sorry about the cheesy pic btw, but it was the only one i could see and easily steal from the website. :(

I will not write this with full reference (mostly because I hate the touch pad on this laptop and it would take ages for me to keep swapping and changing for names) but all the things I make comment on (unless specified) are from the works in the above link.

-----

The initial idea that holds this together is a theory that everyone is, in some way, connected to everyone else in the work. In effect we are each 'nodes' and we are 'linked' to each other across social networks. The case which is used in the website notes that this is done in varying degrees of separation that can vary from the most connected that can perhaps have 3-links of separation from someone on the other side of the world, to people with little or no like with someone else.

It seems to me that this is something beyond obvious, that such things are bound to happen but I guess it needs to be qualified by scientific/sociological study and as such a result can be built upon as things generally do later with the connection to getting jobs. Here it is seen that you are more likely to get a job through social networks that have weaker connections, with the qualification that generally your best friends are those who have similar interest as you and will be least in need of your services. An interesting twist on this would be to look at how many people are 'connected' as a result of a strong connection. Ie. a 'friend of a friend' needing help which would not have any connection to each other otherwise... Thus in this the review underestimates the possible need for stronger acquaintances in the facilitation of connection to the weaker connections.

Now the only 'difficult' part of the theories... At least in my head is the '80% 20%' rule. Though I guess this may simply be a matter of sorting the ideas in my head which tends towards the seeking of exceptions and not the acceptance of generalisations. It is probably best to quote the examples given and then give my spin on things...

• 
  

"20% of landowners own 80% of the land.

20% of workers do 80% of the work.

20% of salespeople make 80% of sales.

20% of criminals carry out 80% of crime.

20% of websites get 80% of the traffic.

20% of the customers create 80% of the calls to techsupport."

• 
  

(Ok things messed up with the formatting there, never mind, im too lazy to sort it out)

Put down with its constituent components it seems that in any action there are more and less active components... I.e. Links and Nodes. And with those processes the result is a result of 20% of nodes create 80% of the links. Maybe the figures are not to be taken at face value here, it seems I need to look at the research in more detail if i am to understand it better... But we shall see, for those that are interested themselves it was an economics theory created in the early 1900s by Pareto, an Italian economist.

It is time for another quote here, I am not mathematician so its probably easier if I do it this way. But here is and explanation of understanding for the degrees of stratification in the strength of the node-linkages.

"Logarithmic Distribution: Instead of random distribution or bell curve distributions, the distribution of links in a network is determined by logarithmic power laws. If you remember log tables from math, log numbers increase by powers of ten. 2 is ten times larger than 1, 3 is 100 times larger than 1, and so on. This means some nodes have all the links and most nodes only have a few links.
Earthquakes are measured by log numbers: A magnitude 2.0 is ten times more severe than a magnitude 1.0, a 3.0 is 100 times stronger, and so on."

Here reference is made to Google's grading of websites for its search engine. Google uses a grading system that separates websites the a magnitude of ten as well... I guess this is simply used as a way of quantifying the previous and later theories in peoples heads.

Moving on to something more juicy. Is the idea of Big Nodes growing faster as they need to do less to create links to other nodes simply by the fact that they have lots of nodes already linking to them. So, a larger website will have more smaller websites making reference to them and the net result is that a web is created that directs you're Internet activities to that single big site (if it is on an interest to you). To the point where (Assuming the content is informative, and relevant) you will actively engage, make reference to, and create a mode-link to that site yourself without the need for actual aggressive 'sociability' buy that website-node.

I guess that this is a point of 'phase transition', even though the website makes reference to something else when it says this. In that it is a tipping point for the sum of links that are being created independently of any attempt by the big node-website to increase linkages to the amount of linkages which are being degraded (e.g. Via time, in ways of inactivity). What it actually makes reference to is the point where the nodes all become "a single entity" and adopt standards, generalisations and norms. This happens along the 80% 20% rule, in that the big node(s) will be the 20% doing the 80% of the linkages. And it will be this acceptance of the norms that will allow users/smaller nodes to be lazy in their activities allowing for easy linkage...

An interesting topic that comes up here(in my own thoughts) is how there is resistance in the ability of nodes to link. This is in the action of connectivity, that demands user interaction and effort. Thus some nodes are more easily accessed not only on a level that they are more widely available but also that they are more 'smoothly' created. For example a website that needs 'registration' will be a barrier, or a resisting force to the creation of social nodal linkages. But are all linkages desirable? The review website says yes, in that even the most minor of connections could come out and result in a positive outcome. But in that the actuality is that some linkages have a negative drain on resources and time. The simple example of this is the way in which some websites create barriers so strong against easy access (Payment, and detailed stringent rules needed for forums) it becomes desirable to join such entity at the 'chaff' is automatically excluded from the Node.

-----
This needs more work, But for now this is where I will leave it and may come back later and finish it up.

Study aids

OK, after thinking on the possibilities for this effort I have realised (well i did a while back but am now in a position to take advantage of this) that I could post 'study aids' for my course. I.e. notes and such that may even possibly spark debate with someone on here who is interested enough to look into such things as political and social science... I doubt it, but the chance and ability is there.

Anyway, see above my first attempt. A look at 'Networks', a concept that can (in general) be universalised to almost any social and scientific structure... It seems.

Dissertations, Essays and The Meaning of Blogging.

Ha, well re-reading my last post was interesting.

Firstly, it showed that I had a better idea of what I was doing with my Poli:320 essay earlier on, and ive got sort of bogged down recently with it.. So I think im going to have a bit of a break from it to get a bit of my Dissertation done. Whoopy-Do!

Secondly its made me wonder why I am bothering with this at all?

Well The simple answer to this one is that its a way of structuring stuff in my own head. In that if i write it down, and think about it as I am doing so (most of the time) then things may stick a bit more than otherwise. I say I think about it a little more, mostly because of the obscure and unlikely possibility that someone may actually read this... So that oddly compelling public nature of this may make it something more than a crappy diary...

I dont know.

Anyway, quickly onto my Dissertation, which will look at the effect of the buldgoning neocons on International Relations. Basicly how their ability to miss-inform has resulted in one (if not two) wars and countless deaths. The idea that its ok for a more powerful society to attack a weaker one for its own means... Ahh actually thats somthing I thaught the UN was ment to deal with or something and that we have grown up as a world society to stop and get over...

Humm.. that was a bit of a ramble at the end, but as you can see it is (at least to me) something thats quite interesting and I guess I havnt yet put some paramiters yet onto the essay... Hopefully that will be done as soon as I meet up with my Tutor, Mark Lacy.

Have fun folks,
Anthony

Libary Fun

Oh this is so great! [He said with a certain element of sarcasm]

Ive managed to (pritty easily) get a laptop on the University's WiFi network so I can now do EVERYTHING work related sitting in the 'reading' sections of the libary surrounded by the thousands of wonderful tomes and frustrated sutdents (who constantly wish they were able to do more than just blag essays/disertations/life).

Well, the net result, that I will be able to distract myself more with the internet with possibly a slight increase in actual real productivity and interlectual performance... Though I must admit today is a naff on account of me being remarcably tired(maybe I should have a nap or something later, naps are good).

So what am I doing at the moment? And essay it would seem, with the exciteing [Yes, sarcasm again] title of 'How would you account for the Origns of the Cold War?'. Sounds fun right? Well actually, it is ok, but I doubt that I will be able to write anything worth reading. Even so, here is where I have got so far.

The Origns of the cold war are a matter of conflicting pressures both internationally as well as (importantly) domesticly upon both power blocks, being NATO and the Warsaw pact countries. Not only this, but the interestingly restrained way in which the cold war played out was in some ways a result of the interactions and foundations of political and military formations of the Second World War.

There you have it... Its a bit shit really, but at least its a starting point. Mayhap its gonna get a couply of (Drasticly needed) alterations over the next week or so that I am writing it.

Have fun
Anthony

Frank Turner - Wisdom Teeth

Another corker by Frank Turner.

Gordon brown as a bit of drizzle

Anthony 3000: And I promise not to overthrow the state if allowed to redraw the atlas before I emigrate. says: i love this!

finish the quote, and its anti-climax from the timesonline.co.uk

" Hurricane Gordon hits UK(!!!!)....


Anthony 3000: And I promise not to overthrow the state if allowed to redraw the atlas before I emigrate. says: ........cutting power lines"


Anthony 3000: And I promise not to overthrow the state if allowed to redraw the atlas before I emigrate. says: shock horror


Anthony 3000: And I promise not to overthrow the state if allowed to redraw the atlas before I emigrate. says: they KILL people in other countries. and its more of a bit of a drizzle compaired


'I wanna be a real puppet!' says:
I know, but we've got to have negetive media about something


'I wanna be a real puppet!' says:
I thought that was some kind of pun referring to Gordon Brown for a minute there

---------

lol

Just past 1am.

It seems that I am getting back to my old 'insane' patterns of late night postings at un-godly hours (a phrase that seems to me to be a contradiction in terms) after a fateful night out in which I gained the level of bloody stupid drunk far to quickly. The net result being an old friend not speaking to me and a day spent with a whale for a head and a stomach carrying a party of dreadfull little goblins pounding their feet creating some wonderfull (incase you miss it, the italics there is to point out sarcasm) dull ache.

And always in these moments I become afraid.

There is a world out there, but I am missing something to make me want to find it.

I have a past behind me, that is largely filled with pain... well maybe not but regular social and emotional disconfort that is not desireable.

Now, I am someone who I am not sure if I actually like or not. Maybe experience has corrupted me and (just like a program with one small but vital part of code with is incorrect) I break for periods at a time when I go along a certian path.

In effect though, the above couple of sentances are complete crap.

It is enough to say, I am lost. Without anywhere or anyone who I can feel safe with and totally content.

Frank Turner - Smiling At Strangers On Trains [Million Dead]

I cant believe this one...

If I had known you were not so far away.

Frank Turner. - Rock God.

I cannot recomend this guy enough.

There is nothing like it, and this is the only time that I have ever said this, but I can absolutly connect to the lyrics. It is not me... Bah. Im tired. Please Please Listen to this guy. There is a myspace.

Thatcher Fucked The Kids
Whatever happened to childhood?
We're all scared of the kids in our neighboorhood;
They're not small, charming and harmless,
They're a violent bunch of bastard little shits.
And anyone who looks younger than me
Makes me check for my wallet, my phone and my keys,
And I'm tired of being tired out
Always being on the lookout for thieving gits.

We're all wondering how we ended up so scared;
We spent ten long years teaching our kids not to care
And that "there's no such thing as society" anyway,
And all the rich folks act surprised
When all sense of community dies,
But you just closed your eyes to the other sidev Of all the things that she did.
Thatcher fucked the kids.

And it seems a little bit rich to me,
The way the rich only ever talk of charity
In times like the seventies, the broken down economy
Meant even the upper tier was needing some help.
But as soon as things look brighter,
Yeah the grin gets wider and the grip gets tighter,
And for every teenage tracksuit mugger
There's a guy in a suit who wouldn't lift a finger for anybody else.

You've got a generation raised on the welfare state,
Enjoyed all its benefits and did just great,
But as soon as they were settled as the richest of the rich,
They kicked away the ladder, told the rest of us that life's a bitch.
And it's no surprise that all the fuck-ups
Didn't show up until the kids had grown up.
But when no one ever smiles or ever helps a stranger,
Is it any fucking wonder our society's in danger of collapse?

So all the kids are bastards,
But don't blame them, yeah, they learn by example.
Blame the folks who sold the future for the highest bid:
That's right, Thatcher fucked the kids.

Casanova Lament
I check that I've got all my things before I leave the house,
Because when I'm gone I'm never coming back.
I'm not being melodramatic, it's just I neither have your number or a key.
An evening spent pretending that we're just becoming friends,
Or this goes any further than going back;
I'm not being pessimistic, it's just you and I were never meant to be.

It isn't love, but every time I kind of wish it was.

I've picked up this silly habit in the last few years of going out
In the evening with my friends into the town,
Of packing a spare T-shirt in my bag in case I do not make it home.
It's pathetic and I know it, but the truth is there've been mornings
I've proved prudent taking toothpaste to the pub.
But that's precious little comfort against the knowledge of the person I've become.

It isn't love, but every time I kind of wish it was,
And I can see that in your eyes you wish it was,
But every time I leave you just because
It isn't love.

Things have just fallen appart...

Well sorf of... I guess its mostly the fact that my computer has broken and things arent set up right resulting in my patterns on the internet getting a bit messy... Or the fact that I have started to play Eve Online, but I've gotten out of the habbit of posting on here.

Will do some good stuff tomorrow.

I hope.

Elfwood review.

I am not quite sure why, but for some reason ive started another blog called, Elfwood Review.

I guess its to compensate for my lack of ability to get myself writeing stuff myself... Or it could even be a gateway for me to start?

Somehow I doubt that, but anyway. Have a look at some point soon it shoudl be interesting as instead of a totally critical attitde towards the stories at hand, it will simply be a reflection of the ideas that are presented... and anything else i find note-worthy.

W00t, hope this works out.

Quicky!

Wonderful quote from a wonderful person. On one of those silly MySpace thingys. Cheers silv for a little chuckle.

Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"?
no i maintained my innocence by playing show me yours and i will give you 20p

Computer ist borked.

Grrr.

I think, for the first time in my internet life, I have recieved a virus.

Im not happy about it, and Ive had to use my 'second' install of windows to be able to keep online... But things still seem to be a bit funkey.

Ohh well.

Boring boring internet people.

Maybe its just that random internet people arnt as interesting any more. :(

ohh well,

this is! ----->>>>>

Clarification on the Sugarhouse issue.

Well mostly just clarification about the fact that all I know is whats in the Scan article.

Everything else is just speculation, but based on the evidence so far it seems like no RocScene.

Even so all is not lost as I have been led to believe that the arrival of the new Darkplace is imminant and will be on multiple nights... Maybe a positive swap!

The spark?

[Ignore if you dont want to read some sad reflection on life.]

I was just in the shower, and against popular opinion I was just standing there thinking about a message that I had previously sent to a randommer on Myspace.

It was weird, randomly sending messages to people used to be something that I did every day when I was 16-17 whilst browsing the streets of elftown. And I found it remarcably hard to do for some reason. It was impossible to create a message that was both witty, relaxed and above all not too scary for someone totally new to understand and accept as fun. But, I realise, it was something that I was able to consistantly do when I was younger.

Yes I know, it sounds bad that im thinking about 'when I was younger' already, but thinking about it its not so bad it was 4+years ago! And in that time my experience of the world has expanded horribly wide. No longer do I have that ability of pecocious nievity that created mild arrogance in belief that somone actually wanted to talk to me. Now i simply think about why people would not want to speak to me, and try too hard.

Maybe I have lost something in the last few years, maybe university isnt actually a fulfilling experience, but something that takes much of the spark away from life by simply doing everything possible, or having the appearance of that.

Bah, its sad really, but i feel less of a person now than I did in freshers week two years ago.

---

Now on to reading that wonderful tome, 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People' as suggested by my father. Maybe this will help me out... Or maybe it just proves the point.

Shagga Screw-up?

Article from the Scan online, Lancaster Uni's Student Newspaper.

Just a quicky.

But.

The new plans for the sugarhouse seem disasterous to me.

The article points out only two changes, both of which are the quirks that made that place different.

1) The second room was a totally different experence to the main room, allowing for two seporate nights to occur allowing for a wider mix of music tastes. This will be taken away.

2) The quiet room was teh social room for the club. Those people who didnt fancy the Loud blareing music in the main rooms tended to go here for the experience and the chance to meet people and socialise over danceing. This will also be taken away.

Seems to me like someone wants to do plasic surgry to a place that simply needs a bit of a make over.

grr.

Million Dead - Holloway Prison Blues

This is one band I will rarely be able to understand more than half the referances in the songs, and they are so wonderful for it. Its a huge shame that they split.

This one... I think, is some sort of and attempt to show people the writers (I believe Frank Turner) view on the world, and how we kid ourselves about the most inconsequential things while 'supermarkets drain villages' of their water for us western types. And that the many terrible things that happen for us by MNCs and various other organisations are ok, because we (the Liberal Capitalist countries) have won, we are at an 'End of History'.

Never one to express myself correctly i think thats some sort of illumination on the song. Please read, and if you can find the song somewhere, its a corker.


"The leg bone is connected to the foot bone
is connected to the Export Processing Zones,
and it’s nothing we condone,
but everybody owns a pair of those shoes.

I looked a little closer at the walls of my house,
and to my surprise they were made out of glass.
So I made my way softly towards my front door,
but to my surprise it was bolted shut and barred.

The bloodstream gets its sugar from the intestine
gets its sugar from the supermarket chain
that left the village drained.
Every high street the same soulless refrain.

I looked a little closer at the walls of my house,
and to my surprise they were made out of glass.
So I made my way softly towards my front door,
but to my surprise it was bolted shut and barred.

The newspaper reads like a list of charges brought against me.
So I’m changing my plea to an open address to the jury.

I confess that I was there on that grassy knoll,
and I confess I helped fake the moon landings as well.
But I confess I’ve yet to let slip my lowest low:
there’ve been times when I’ve pretended I didn’t know about my skeleton.

Your honour I swear that I can explain;
there are mitigating factors to consider in this case.
I was looking out of a window to the west.
Francis Fukuyama took me by the arm,
won me over with his famous intellectual charm,
swore this beauty wouldn’t do any harm.
We didn’t look east because the sun was setting.

It’s easy to lose yourself in the faintest reflection in the pane of a window.
I suspect that I’ve lost myself in the guilty reflection of the pain that it lets through.
I must confess I’ve started throwing stones around the house.
I don’t mean to moan but I never even signed the lease.

The newspaper reads like a list of charges brought against me.
So I’m changing my plea to an open address to the jury.

I confess that I was there on that grassy knoll,
and I confess I helped fake the moon landings as well.
But I confess I’ve yet to let slip my lowest low:
there’ve been times when I’ve pretended I didn’t know about my skeleton."

Tomorrow I will get a Job!

...If i like it or not.

This is getting stupid now, i really REALLY need the money and I havnt really followed through with anything other than the leeds First Direct effort. So tomorrow is the day that i do something about it... Though it may result in hundreds of calls to someone in Alton Tower's answer phone.


<--- Maybe i should get that book...







And a promised review (as my keyboard seems to be spazzing out...humm)

...actually, no. Methinks you can wait till tomorrow for the review of Drive Till December at the Underground(Stoke).

Bitchy-ness, grrr

Bah, its anoying.

Ive been acused of being bitchy today by someone, and though its all been sorted and everything seems to be ok between us two it dosnt really solve anything; i.e. the general belief that the 'two groups' in rocsoc are bitching about each other.

Its anoying, as I said. So im stateing here...




I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ANYONE.

I DO NOT MEAN TO BITCH ABOUT ANYONE.

IF I HAVE A PROBLEM, OR YOU HAVE ONE WITH ME PLEASE PLEASE LET US SORT IT OUT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Thank you... Now thats sorted... Time for my dissertation research. YAY!

[Must point out that positivity there is put on in an attempt to trick my head into thinking its actually a fun and enjoyable thing to do. Thats impotant when theres a massive amount or internet fun I could be haveing.]

Bah, now im gonna have to think.

I am going to have to think about what I write now, i guess...

After ive actually shown people who I know the adress for my blog of countless woes!

Well, countles failed ideas at least.

Double post

3 things to think about.

Dissertation

I still need to get this looked at... Methinks ive missed the first deadline that few people have even seemed to bother about. And my tutor hasnt gotten around to e-mailing me... I really need to catch up on this.

But on the plus side, ive got some research done, and actuall have an idea of what im ment to be covering now.

Job

Now on the job front things are looking grim. Ive got a possible interview with a temping agency on monday, but appart from that everything has failed...

Going to do a line in uttoxeter, checking all the random stores like argos and Focus (who ive already rang and been rejected by) tomorrow i think... :S

Hope it goes well, else im gonna end up in Alton Towers again. :(

Gig

This is going to be such a legandary gig, i just cant wait to tell you the truth!



Will give full review on here, post-gig. I bet you cant wait.

Racism in the World cup?

I do wonder about some of the decisions by the refs in the world cup against the african nations.

The recent match with Togo is a great example with 2 fouls, both obvious penalties that could have evened up the game.

Ohh well, this is nothing more than an idea, or instinct. Probably nothing.

The plan

"Ok then, a plan for tomorrow.

• Decide on if I should go to 'The connor party' in loverpool.
  
• Buy fathers day prezzies.
• Begin job hunt.
• Send e-mail to Trish in relation to Dissertation.
• Pack all my things.

Though not in any sort of order, they are the aims for tomorrow. Then I can waste my time on games."

OK,

Number one.
Check, not going unless theres some stange and mirraculous way in which I can be both at home and in Loviverpool at the same time

Number two
Going to be done tomorrow.

Number three
Still to be looked at

Number four
Needs to be done!!!

Number five
Sortove done... Still needs to be organised... if indeed it ever will.

---

All in all, not too bad concidering that I got up at noon-ish and went to darby.

Going away (incomplete)

"What can you say to me? Really?" There was a pause, she looked hard into nothing as he staired directly into her one visable beautiful bright light blue eye, with her body turned slightly away from him.

Stuttering, and taking advantage of the pause and the indecision he saw in her movements and heard in her voice. He began to reel off what had become a mantra of justification in his head."I... I... I have made my decision, it is done. I am signed up... I have taken the oath. I..."

"I have gotten myself killed for nothing, leaveing everyone... Leaving me..." She mocked, but broke down in sobs whilst falling to her knees on the damp but bright springtime grass.

"Clara! Please, please... I have to... I never ment to hurt you." He moved to confort her, an arm around her beautiful body, careful not to mess the long deeply brown hair that reached halw way down her back.

"You never ment to WHAT?!" Did you have no idea what anyone would think of.... this?!" Her eyes suddenly blazed with an instant intensity that caused him to over balance in the kneeling postition with which he found himself. One foot went back, and standing on the trailing sword that had found space under him, he tripped and fell on his back with a slight grunt.

She giggled. A sound so utterly different from the spite of a moment before. Eyes lit up bright, but with a tear reaching the barely conceled smile. Clara held one hand out to pick him up, and another as a slightly clenched fist in a vain attempt to hide the obvious humor being shown by her lips.

"Aww, you fool! Bran. you absolute idiot, let me help you up!" Bran took her hand, and though there a I'm sure......

---------

I was going to try and finish this... And it was going to get alot more fantasy... But im tired and i can see if going down the pan already so I wont...

I just thaught I would put something online, maybe its a start.

A day wasted?

Just wondering about today..

I mean all last night was an attempt to gain some cohesion and focus in my life. To gain some philosophy of productivity so that I actually began to accumplish... anything.

But it looks like today this will fail to some extent, and i should be bothered about it but im not...

I guess its on account of the fact that though I did get up early it was after last nights 'mental' sort out. And when I did wake, the day was spent seeing my ailing grandmother in hospital.. a good deed.

Even so, my objectives have pritty much been missed... I will attempt to have a go at them now...

...after this game of counterstrike with my brother's girlfriend... Gods i hope i dont loose!

Add a story to the list.

Bah, ive lost my password and account name for elfwood.

Never mind, an email has been sent so its all good!

Now all ive got to do is write something... I think thats ok, I just need to dedicate myself to it when im not so fecking tired.

Sleep.

nn folks.

Elfwood

On top of everything else I have lined up for tomorrow, im also going to have another go at the writeing lark..

*points to the link to the side for my old old stories.

Well most of the work will be done by the MS Word spell checker, but at least 50% of the work may be my own.

But. Must remember. Short. Sentances!

...on with the plan.

Ok then, a plan for tomorrow.

• Decide on if I should go to 'The connor party' in loverpool.
  
• Buy fathers day prezzies.
• Begin job hunt.
• Send e-mail to Trish in relation to Dissertation.
• Pack all my things.

Though not in any sort of order, they are the aims for tomorrow. Then I can waste my time on games.

W00t, w00t.

...and I have done... something!

Well, nothing worthwhile, just changed the template for this blog...

Bit of a waste of time really as it dosnt seem to have worked as yet...

Lost at what to do...?

Bah, its a little late at the moment and im just searching for something to do... I suppose thats probably one of the most 'done' of activities by people who stare at their computer screen and wonder...

Meh, Methinks this is going to simply be a stream of consciousness...

Ive just come back home from Uni and im at a loss.

I need to do a number of things in my life, and quickly. Firstly I need to get a job, secondly look towards sorting out my dissertation. And finially find some motovation from somewhere which is not simply basic panic at my previous lack of motivation resulting in terrible grades.

*sigh*

I guess it will be ok (ARGH THAUGHTS THAT ARE HOLDING ME BACK) but I want to do more...

Do more doing something...

Failed Projects

As always, I realise as i look below, many of teh projects i think up simply fail. Even so I try and try to get one two stick, at the moment I have two and a half... I suppose.


1) Warhammer

For some unknown reason the nostalgia centered around warhammer has poped up its ugly expencive head once again. Im thinking about another dwarf army, but that may change to Elves or something.

Why am I doing this? I think its basicly to create something, an achievement which I can be proud of. Not figures painted to any great ability or level, but just complete and just good. We shall see what happens, and ive even got anne to join me so battles await!



2) Lancaster/Stoke Band Swop


Simple concept thats going to be a bitch to implament, if indeed it ever gets to that stage. Basicly I will plan and promote 2 gigs, one in Lancaster and the other in Stoke on Trent, with the aim to gain exposure for bands of both scenes in the oposite city. I think its a great idea, but will take ALOT of planning and as a result i may shy away from it.

Firstly i need to find out exactly what i need to do to convince the venue that i could plan a gig well enough to save a date for me i think... :S